EXTRACT. Fake Tarzan, fake Superman, fake Hulk … they’re all in “Nanar Wars,” a collection that features hilarious hacks of big Hollywood hits outside of the US.
The book that will make you happy is Total Happiness, the ultimate in cinephilia, the most curling reading, the anti-“Cahiers du Cinéma” (and that feels good). Prelle and Vincenot are Emmanuel specialists in nanars. They have plunged into the galaxy salvaged films, Filipino copy, Korean photocopies, Pakistani material, and in other words, those films that flood whole countries. Fake Tarzan. Fake Superman. Fake Hulk. rip-offs do exist. These masterpieces were made with string and glue and are filmed by filmmakers who misinterpret the large and small ends of the camera.
In “Nanar Wars”, here are forty of those songs that we highly recommend: “Toofan”, by Kidar Kapoor (an Indian Zorro); “Jangli Mera Nam”, by Latif Shad (a Pakistani Tarzan); “Gorillas a Todo Ritmo” by Sebastian Almeida or Josi Konski (we don’t know); “Konga” by John Lemont (British King Kong)… The images alone speak for themselves: make-up with a trowel, costumes I found at my grandmother’s (and sometimes at Michou in Montmartre); sophisticated special effects (a kick in the camera to simulate an earthquake); frightened virgins rounded up in the depths of Bangkok, advantageous heroes with copious love handles, Turkish vampires with Prisu teeth… Each page is a dizzying plunge into the depths of the human soul (yes, yes!). Prelle and Vincenot have made a name for themselves with their unique science, nanarchaeology. It will be taught at the Sorbonne soon, as it is guaranteed. F.F.
Death in Kong
An obsessed scientist with sex, Ugandan carnivorous plant and a great ape wandering the streets of London: All the ingredients of the unleashed Naar are combined in this English production, to be accompanied by a cloud full of milk.
It would have been easy to assume that the kingdom of His Most Graciousmajesty, home to so many distinguished subjects, wasn’t proficient in the production and use of low-level nuars. However, this is not the case. Our British friends do have them. Their Turkeys with a lot of fatJust like the barbarian countries that populate the rest of the globe. The poster, which is a croquignolesque imitation if King Kong, is proof of this. This film sells us an action-packed special effects show with Big Ben at the background. But, in real life, it has three sets, two pages screenplay, and an actor who is free to roam. The 12 minute mark is when the giant ape, who destroys everything in its path appears.
Let’s begin at the beginning. The first sequence depicts the crash of a tourist aircraft in the African jungle. The editing is especially effective. The foreground shows the plane in flight, while the next depicts the scene where it crashes. We are in Uganda and Dr. Decker is the passenger. He is a botanist who died in the crash. He is actually not dead, he appears in London a year later and tells everyone how he survived the crash, as well as how he was adopted by the Baganda tribe. They are very nice primitives. Konga, a cute baby chimp, was his friend. The movie poster warns us that Konga will not be adorable for long. Dr Decker also had the opportunity to meet a powerful wizard who shared his ancestral knowledge, which he questioned about the scientist’s certainty. He now exclaims to Margaret, his assistant, that he believes there is a link between human and plant life. His goal is to create a serum using the extracts. The power of tropical plants to multiply tenfold that of animal creatures. As you can see, the poor chimpanzee is soon going to take a bite of the butt.
The first step is to grow African tropical plants. Dr. Decker extracts the pith from the petunias that he had grown in his greenhouse. cottageReplace the large seeds with those from Uganda and turn the heat knob to the right. Although she doesn’t seem to be excited, her boss is in secretly in love. She prefers to remain silent, and focus on Konga’s education. Konga teaches her how to make tea on a tray. Dr. Decker quickly discovered the formula for the serum. It was a fluorescent green, which instantly inspired confidence. The scientist quickly draws a revolver, noses Margaret with lead and explains to her that the unknown substance is too dangerous to allow the cat to ingest the drops. You can see the inside of the tropicalized greenhouse by following the sequence: Dr. Decker marvels at the enormous growth of several large carnivorous plants. The assistant must throw them pieces of net cute, which they will eat greedily, at a safe distance. Some plants are larger than calves and have articulated jaws, which can swallow anything within their reach. Other plants, like the vagina on the testicles, are surprising mobile. The palm of lubricity is held in place by three-meter tall penises watermelons that have a hanging tongue that wriggles. As we say in English: “Bon appétit! “.
These plants are rich in magnesium, B6 vitamins, and Dr Decker has created the neon green serum. Now it is time to test its effectiveness. Konga is injected by the mad scientist, and immediately the baby chimpanzee transforms into an adult. One second later, he transformed into a gorilla. (Actually, he is an actor for underpaid, and doesn’t even get credit on the credits. This is to disgust you for taking drama classes for twelve year. Dr. Decker becomes increasingly insane and hypnotizes him using a mini flashlight. He then gives him a lengthy speech on the strict obedience he expects. The animal nods. It is now up to the scientist to use it for his desire for power and revenge. He orders Konga to strangle Dr. Decker’s president. The Patent does not apply to Konga’s university. Next, he takes the matter to Professor Tagore, a rival Indian-born scientist. he makes him strangle each other. Bob is next to be killed. BoyfriendSabrina, a student at Dr. Decker, is strangled by Konga on her scooter for a change.
Margaret eventually finds it to be too many strangles. But what really turns her off? When she discovers that Dr. Decker was actually a vulgar sex addict. When she sees him kiss Sabrina in a greenhouse, she unleashes anger and pricks Konga’s stomach again. Konga transforms into a huge gorilla, which destroys the lab. cottageBefore reaching for Dr Decker, The primate grips the Dr Decker with its closed fists, akin to an ice cream cone. The Queen arrives at Big Ben’s level and decides that this film is too stupid to continue. She sends the 43eRoyal Highland Regiment settled the matter with 155mm guns. Dr. Decker is killed, Konga is wounded, and Elizabeth II pardons the directors and writers. It was, in our opinion, not the best decision she took, but who are you to judge the Queen?
© Omaké Books